Addiction

I have been mourning you these seven years past
And still you are by my side.
I can hold your hand, feel the tears
Crawling like warm creatures down my face.
Our hearts beat steadily through the cracks and bruises
Refusing to break.

Sometimes I look out to sea towards the wreck of your life,
Remembering when that splendid weakened vessel ran aground.
Sometimes I see the souls who went down with you,
Spectres with haunted eyes who tell me lies.
Sometimes you try to reach me from your underwater nightmares
Gasping for breath.

I am standing on the seashore collecting driftwood
Piece by piece, remnants of other lives
To build defences, a safe haven. They come to me,
The shipwrecked people, the nearly drowned.
They watch and wonder at my walls of silvergrey
Thatched with hair.

I scream at the seagulls floating on a stiff breeze,
Stiff with salt and stench of rotting seaweed.
How did I come to live here at the edge of all reason
Where tides beyond my ken toss people and pebbles alike?
Even my house is built on sand.